I had no idea what was happening. All I knew was I couldn't feel my fingers, but my heart was trying to push its way out of my chest. I was not alone in the circle, but I was separate. I was between myself and myself.
Swimming and rocking and unsure of where to put my hand to steady myself.
And then I remembered.
I placed my right hand across my heart and my left on my lower stomach. Settle, settle, ground, breathe, come back to yourself.
I didn't realize I was entering the story of my life for the past two years. On this somewhat secret, often mysterious, always revealing journey, I started by looking in the mirror, by being willing to open my eyes and see what the reflection held. I looked and saw the things I didn't want to see. I faced them and began to love them anyway.
The more I looked in the mirror, the more I began to love myself. And I fell so deeply that I became swollen with possibility. From there, the bright spirits of my unfolding began to emerge and dance within my life.
But then I was swept away.
I moved into the sensuality, the reconnection with my erotic self and my creative, divine spark. I moved out into the natural world, the green world, the world where my awareness opened up and found joy in the dance of the leaves. I moved into the wildness, the fierceness, the committing to myself and to others around me.
This has been the story of my life, for more than two years, but as I stood outside the ritual circle and realized what was happening, I found myself being swept away. And while I didn't realize it then, I was returning to love.
All comes from love, all goes back to love.
I will return to the mirror, I will look into it, break it when needed, and be swept away again. I know creation stories will continue - and repeat and recycle.
Love is the story. Love is the answer. Love is the question.
Love is the law.
"Forged in Flame: Creating a Reclaiming Beltane Ritual" - Creating Ritual issue of Witches and Pagans