Break

I wanted to cry
so I did
and before I knew it
shoulders shaking
mind cracking
all of my insides
turning out into your palms

like the way water
rests on the shore
after being pushed
into the rocks
by the tides

Resting on the line
between crazy
and not as much
I wanted to jump 
into crazy
where I wouldn't be able
to feel the way I feel now.

For a minute,
I could be innocent
and I could be free
from the pain
from the mornings
I don't want to wake up for.

I stay up late these nights
thinking I will sleep past the dawn
whose mornings are 
always red
always angry
and always ready

to push me back into the waters

and my arms are tired 
of trying to stay
above the surface.