Thousand.

I tried to cry a thousand prayers
To let them fall to the ground
And be soaked up by something stronger than me

I tried to write a thousand words
To let them lie in my ears
And be heard for what they really were,
My own meaning lost
In my own translation.

I tried to sleep a thousand days
To let the hours pass me by until
I found the ones that made me happy
But I kept waking up
To the same dream
That didn’t make any sense
Anymore.

I tried to cry a thousand prayers
Hoping someone
Something
Anyone
Anything
Could hear me
Could understand me

Could free me.

I tried to explain myself
To the ones who think
My life is nothing but a miracle
That sometimes
Things look different
When you look at them from my angle
From my knees
From the darkness
That follows me

I celebrated my shadows
For too long
I danced with them
For too long
I wooed them
I pulled them in
And now they won’t leave
Me alone

No matter how many candles I light
No matter how bright my thoughts
No matter how many times I win

I cried a thousand prayers today
And my knees are sore
And my hands are cramped
And my mind is full
And I just want to go home

Wherever that might be
Wherever that might be

If only I could remember my way.